【您一個人在房間會不會吃肉呢？】

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【您一個人在房間會不會吃肉呢？】
一個來訪者問：法師，我想問一個不太恭敬的問題？
師：請講！來訪：您在公眾場合是素食，您一個人在房間會不會吃肉呢？
（師並沒有回答他的問題）反倒問他：您是開車來的嗎？</p><p>來訪：是的。師說：開車要系安全帶。請問您是為自己系還是為警察系？如果是為自己系，有沒有警察都要系。來訪：喔，我明白了！小語：好多人就跟我說，沒自律，沒人督促就不能堅持成功者的習慣。我想看完這個故事，你應該懂得該怎麼做了。

【孩子怎麼教？】
眾：請問法師，我的小孩不聽話、不愛學習怎麼辦？師：您影印過文件嗎？眾：影印過。</p><p>師：如果影印件上面有錯字，您是改影印件還是改原稿？（場內立刻響起雷鳴掌聲。後有人答道：改原稿。）師：應該原稿和影印件同時改，才是最好。父母是原稿，家庭是影印機，孩子是影印件。孩子是父母的未來，父母更是孩子的未來。</p><p><br /></p><p>小語：父母是孩子最好的老師，如果你自己不優秀，如何給孩子優秀的教育？如何要求孩子優秀？不如提升自己，同時提高孩子。

【五百元買汽車】
一位佛友電話抱怨道：為什麼我努力了還是得不到？念經行善了但命運卻不變？師：我給你寄五百塊錢來好不好？
眾：師父，你的錢我不敢要呢！
師：我是要你幫我辦一件事。
眾：師父，你說辦什麼，我絕對幫你辦好！
師：幫我買一輛汽車。
眾：(驚呀地)師父，五百塊怎麼能買到汽車呢？！
師：你知道五百塊買不到汽車！可是世上有太多的人都在絞盡腦汁，想付出一點，就得到很多。

【糞便臭不臭？】
一位女士不停地述說自己的苦難，沒完沒了。師打斷她的話說：你的苦還真多呀！
女士：別人訴苦最多需要三天三夜，我訴苦需要三年！
師：那是什麼時候的苦？
女士：前幾年。
師：那不是過去了嗎？為什麼還緊抓不放呢？（停了一下），又問：你拉出的糞便臭不臭？
女士：當然很臭啦！
師：現在糞便在哪裡呢？
女士：拉完就衝掉了。
師：為什麼不把它包起來放在身上？見到人就拿出來告訴別人：我被這東西臭過？
女士：那多噁心！
師：對呀！苦難也是一樣，它已經過去了。回憶和訴苦就如同把糞便拿出來 向人展示，既臭自己又臭別人！聽懂了嗎？
女士：聽懂了！
師：那以後你還要不要訴苦？
女士：不要了！
師：記住：越訴苦越苦，越抱怨越怨。
女士：嗯！…
小語：這就是心理調節了，你苦難的事已經過去，如果依然是以前的自己，那隻會依舊苦難，狀態決定你的成就。

【如果世人都出家……】
一個對佛教有興趣的女教師對師說：如果世人都像你一樣都出家，人類還能延續嗎？
好像沒有聽到這個問題，師平和而關懷地問到：你的小孩多大了？男孩女孩？
教師：17歲了，女孩。
師：要準備高考了。
女教師：是的。正在加緊複習。
師：你一定希望她考個好大學吧？
女教師：是的，要考就考北京的大學，其它的大學沒什麼意思。
師：如果每一個人都像你那樣想，那還有人種田嗎？其它省的大學不是只有都關門了？
女教師：……
師：你注意到沒有，你已經回答了你自己的問題？
女教師（愕然）：……

【心靈籃球】
一位研究生來拜訪我，不理解地問：為什麼好多人見到你都要磕頭？這是不是有點迷信？我沒有拜過任何人，我只拜我自己！
師：你一定打過籃球，或者羽毛球，或者乒乓球吧？
青年：是的，打過！
師：打籃球幹什麼？不打籃球，籃球會難受嗎？而且那麼多人打一個球，是為了快點把籃打爛嗎？
青年：不是，是為了鍛煉身體和娛樂。
師說：不用籃球也可以像打籃球一樣運動嘛！
青年：那樣多沒意思。而且旁人看到還以為是神經病呢！
師：說得好！籃球只是一個道具，一個鍛煉和娛樂的道具。那麼，身體需要鍛煉，心靈就不需要鍛煉嗎？
青年：按理應該。可心靈怎麼鍛煉呢？
師：人在崇拜的時候，五體投地，表現出謙卑、服從、懺悔、求助、感恩和接受，同時也是將自己的心靈融化，與被崇拜者在心靈上合一與連接。這就是心靈的鍛煉。別人禮拜我，我也是一個道具，就像一個籃球，讓人打來打去。只不過我不是真的籃球，是一個心靈籃球。同樣，拜祖宗是為了培養自己的孝心，用心靈承接祖宗累積的能量；拜土地是為了感恩珍惜土地，我們生長在大地，大地給我們很多的食物和物品，而我們回饋的都是垃圾；拜龍王是珍惜感恩水，因為人體有70-80%是由水組成……中國人拜的學問深了，裡面有大智慧妙作用。虔誠禮拜的時候，拜和被拜是一個整體，哪有什麼你我高低呢？有些人搞不懂就大加誹謗，是沒有實踐過和用心體驗過。妄加誹謗就是痴狂！
青年：太高深，太智慧了！請受我三拜！
師問：感覺到心靈鍛煉的美妙了嗎？
青年：嗯！很偉大！……

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